Usually, I savor my time in the shower, especially when the
hot water seems endless. Those days are rare for some reason and it's
irritating because we got a new hot water heater only 2 years ago and I was
assured a 20 minute shower would be no problem. Please remind me to talk
to BG&E about that if I haven't done so yet when you get here...but I
digress...
So, I was in the shower and got to
thinking about how much my life has changed in the last 6 months. Daddy
and I did not want children. We loved visiting your cousins, Owen and
Grayson at Auntie Kelly and Uncle Brian's house frequently, but we LOVED coming
home to a quiet house. We loved sleeping in on the weekends. We
loved being able to go somewhere or do something at the drop of a hat without
having to worry about a babysitter or packing 100 things in the car like many
of our friends do just to go to the store. We liked being a 2-person
"us". We never imagined that would change. But something
happened this past summer. I can't put my finger on exactly what it was
or the exact date it happened, but something changed.
I started seeing little babies and kids
differently. I wish there was a way for me to quantify this in a way you
could understand, but there are just no words to explain how this urge...this
burning desire to meet you came about. Your little spirit found us and
planted the seed that told us in our hearts that we would not be a 2-person
"us" forever. The only promise we made was to keep this as Mommy
& Daddy's secret for the time being. (Aunt Joey & Aunt Melissa know,
too.)
So, as quickly as that feeling came on,
I gave into it and committed myself to not fighting it. Preparations
began around our small home immediately. We painted, de-cluttered,
rearranged and are still adding projects to our list. Yesterday, Daddy
took apart our guest room bed and humped it to Auntie Kelly's car all by
himself. Mommy was sleeping after a long night at work. The bed
went to Aunt Jackie's and Aunt Susan's house and we now have room to work on
what will eventually be your nursery.
We started trying for you in December.
Daddy knew I was taking this seriously when I stopped drinking wine :-) and we
were convinced that we were successful, despite what those stupid sticks
said...all 7 of them. But, alas, you were not ready. I was heartbroken but
Daddy was strong for me.
I know that when you are ready, you
will come, but until then, I will be as patient as I can. I will continue
to make my body as healthy and as strong as you'll need it to be and Daddy and
Uncle Shawn will continue to make the house a warm and safe place for you to
live. In the meantime, I'll update this once in a while for you to read
at a later time and anxiously await your arrival, little bun.
I already love you.
No comments:
Post a Comment